Questions of Sexuality
by s.j. snodgrass
Summary: While attempting to write down her expierences in the labyrinth, Sarah questions something about the Goblin King. Rated for talk of Jareth's pants.


A/N: Fangirls of Jareth, please do not kill me. This was a random thought born from a remark my mom made about David Bowie's pants and another name she refers to him as. But, in all honesty, it is a big question…I, however, love David Bowie and apologize for such blasphemy.

It was summer, the annoyances and stress of high school forgotten for the time being. It seemed that every child was enjoying their time off as much as possible, be it staying up late, playing video games, or making some sweet mula at their summer jobs.

Sarah Williams, however, was not enjoying her summer at the moment. She was actually sitting hunched over her computer, glaring at the screen as though it would give her answers if she simply looked at it long enough. Her eyes rapidly traced the lines of words in size twelve font on the screen, desperately trying to figure out the answer to her perplexing conundrum.

Eventually she sighed and leaned back against her chair, aiming her scowl at the ceiling.

She had been writing her first play. It was based on her supernatural exploits of two years ago, when she had gone to the Underground to safely return her little brother from the clutches of the Goblin King. She had thought her work was going quite smoothly until she started putting a bit more thought into the Goblin King himself…

Gritting her teeth in frustration, she shut off the computer monitor and flopped onto her bed, her long brown hair fluttering around her. "I wish you were here right now, Jareth, so I could ask you this question." She muttered into her pillows.

No sooner had she uttered these words, a large bang sounded in her room. She looked up quickly and gasped at the towering figure of the Goblin King himself standing in her room.

"Oh my god…What are you doing here?" She asked, completely flabbergasted. Jareth furrowed his brow mockingly. "Did you not send for me?" He asked, his blonde bangs moving as he tilted his head.

"I believe you wanted me to answer a question of yours." He pressed, trying to subtly remind her of her purpose.

A look of understanding suddenly dawned on Sarah's face. "Right!" She said happily, grinning. Then her face twisted into nervousness. "Well…"She began.

"Yes?" Jareth looked her over, waiting for her to continue.

"You see, there was something I was wondering about you…"

"And what might that be?"

"Well, I'm not saying it's true, or anything.."

"Go on."

"Well, Jareth, I was wondering if maybe…you were…gay?" Sarah finished, flinching slightly.

Jareth looked as if someone had slapped him. His jaw was slack, and his eyes were strangely large. He made a sputtering sound, as though he was trying to piece together a sentence, or some kind of reply, but couldn't quite manage it. In the end, he settled for: "_What!"_

"Yeah…I was wondering, because, you know…You do dress rather…flamboyantly. You sing…You've been living with a whole bunch of male goblins for thousands of years…" Sarah was trying to list all of the reasons she could think of that would point to him being gay.

"I'm not gay." Jareth protested, attempting to regain his composure, but utterly failing.

"Like I said, I don't think you are either, but there is some incriminating evidence. You have this obsession with pretty things, too. Not that that's a bad thing, but the magic twinkly stuff just isn't very…masculine. And those pants…" Sarah was rattling things off with such ease, completely forgetting that she was talking to the Goblin King.

"What is so wrong about my pants?" Jareth was able to speak, now, and his shock was turning into incredulity. He looked down at his clothing and back at the offending seventeen year old.

"Nothing, but they would be better suited in a ballet. I mean, tight pant are alright, and all…but…I think I speak for most women when I say that it is very hard to have a serious conversation with you when your…er… 'package' is staring us in the face." After saying that Sarah felt her face go hot, and got the distinct feeling that she had said something she shouldn't have.

Jareth was tongue tied again. Not many people had been successful at silencing the Goblin King twice in a row. "I – that is- what?" He seemed to be making a habit of using the word what as a substitute for a comprehensive sentence. "My package?" He said in disbelief. He was trying to look dignified while pulling his cape a bit tighter around him.

"I just need one sign that you aren't gay and I'll never bother you again. I promise." Sarah looked pleadingly up at him.

"A sign! For the love of God, I'm in love with you! I've been in love with you for years!" He suddenly stopped, and looked away, embarrassed. Sarah looked down at the floor and scratched her head. "Well, this is awkward." She murmered.

Jareth cleared his throat. If that is all you need from me, I will be going." In a poof a shiny twinkly dust, he was gone.

Sure enough, true to her word, Sarah never bothered the Goblin King again.

**A/N: Hehehe…please don' kill me. I hope some of you like it. I don't like it that much, but I had to write it down somewhere. Please review, and thanx for reading.**


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